I am enough

"This summer we're setting up a very specific test in the Dream Lab. We're trying to find out what will happen if we set aside our Mondo Beyondo dreams for one whole summer and let ourselves sink into rest, play and kindness to ourselves and the people around us. And we're not just saying that. We really want to know want to know. We're craving the kind of joy and magic that shows up whenever you know--you really know--you're not in it alone. We're building our hypothesis on the expectation that all kinds of good things happen when you're willing to loosen up and let go."

From the Superhero Journal

I have been in a place of uncertainty where I find myself wondering, do I really live in a dream world? I always heard that growing up, from my parents, quite possibly even from strangers...You live in a dream world Amanda.

What I'm really being faced with now, at age 31, is am I here to do what creative endeavors are inside me? I am allowed to put myself fully into what I want to do each day with joy? Am I here to find my true purpose, my higher path or should I just go out to the nearest restaurant to get a job that will pay the bills?

My tiny Etsy shop lies empty because the last time I truly allowed myself to create uninterrupted was in Italy. When I'm at home I don't even take the stolen moments, much less make a schedule that includes time for making art.

Now, keep in mind, our massage business and my free lance nanny/event work do pay the bills. We are able to keep up, potentially some would consider us to be maintaining quite nicely. So, why is it that my fear builds up inside so great, doubt crawls inside and I feel paralyzed?

But let me remember... I am not my thoughts. I am not my body. I am not my emotions. I am an ever present being of light here to shine my spirit bright. That light can truly shine when I'm rested. When I'm filled up with dancing and stretching and being me. When I'm writing and creating art (and it's been months....).

I honestly will feel guilty if I am at home brewing up herbal delights in the kitchen or doing other projects because they are not paying me an hourly wage. Does it all have to add up to money? I feel like all my quests to just make money so I could do this or that never created any happiness, or money for that matter.

So, each day I wake up and some of those days I have to choke down a little fear, or better yet, replace that reaction with a positive thought. Send love to those fears and believe that I am enough. Doing what's in front of me at the moment, loving it and loving myself.

What I've been Loving...

free

A Sunday spent deep in the woods. Herb loving women coming together, learning. The Mountain Gardens took us in and showed us a ecologically sound way of living. Being Free. A paradisiacal delight. A Taoist since he was sixteen years old, Joe, has created a way out of the destructive machine of consumerism that we find ourselves living in. A place to live, to read, to gather, to grow, and to help yourself. He opens his apothecary to those who are willing to mix their own formulas out of the thousands of Chinese and American herbs he carries. The library is unbelievably full, books on religion, spiritual guidance, arts & crafts, herbs, gardening....(the list goes on) line the shelves. Cob houses and yurts are scattered throughout the woods, among the 1500 or so species of medicinal plants grown there. This way of life, maintaining the garden so that it can in turn take care of you, waking up and asking yourself 'what do I want to do today?', this is the way of the happy. The way of the free.

To Begin Anew

To cleanse for me is to begin anew. I am the type of person that gets excited with the challenge of cleansing my body of toxins. The particular cleanse that we just finished was the Polarity Cleansing Diet. The book calls it a fast for the ego and a feast for the spirit!

This particular cleanse is one where you continue to eat vegetables throughout the minimum of two weeks. It is truly something you can do while working, although there is a sluggishness in the first few days as your body is pushing out all the toxins. Day 4 and 5 were the hardest, and I stayed on this for the minimum required, 14 days.

Here is recipe for the tea and liver cleanse that you drink first thing in the morning. Preparing the tea and blending the other ingredients gives you the time while peeling, and prepping, and peeling and prepping....to appreciate what you are putting into your body. I especially like to take this time to say a prayer of gratitude for our bodies do.


Polarity Liverflush Cocktail
Take 4 to 8 ounces as your morning meal
More is not better!
In a blender add:
1 to 2 tablespoons of cold pressed olive or almond oil
the juice of one peeled organic lemon
1 or 2 small to medium size cloves of garlic
an equal amount of fresh ginger (a piece about 1 inch long)
the juice of one organic grapefruit

Polarity Cleansing Tea
To boiling water add this blend
which contains equal amounts of:
ginger root,
anise or fennel seed
flax seed
fenugreek seed
twice as much licorice root,

After simmering the above for 20 minutes take it off of the stove and add peppermint. Serve with lemon and fresh ginger juice to taste. Start the tea first and let it brew while you are getting the liver-flush together.

Etsy My Dear....

Finally....I stopped procrastinating. I stopped judging my work and thinking that I had nothing to share. I took a leap of faith and posted some of my card designs and have them UP FOR SALE at my new etsy shop, Sweet Cheeks.

I hope to bring a little extra joy and happiness to your life. To inspire you to dance in the woods, pour glitter in the wind, delight in all the beauty, and to just be love.