where i went makes it hard sometimes
to be
where i am...
i thought when i came back from italy, i hadn't caught the travelling bug...
but...turns out. nothing opens my mind like open spaces and unknown places.
Jul 30, 2008
Jul 29, 2008
Jul 28, 2008
Digging In
stretching my body this weekend.
meditating.
soothing myself when i could feel my body getting tight.
digging my feet into the earth.
swaying to the music and dancing. letting all the beauty flow through.
i almost didn't come to work today. i was close to taking the leap.
but...in a baby step to creating my own work...i am taking time off from too much internet time. too much skimming the surface and not enough diving in.
starting now :)
Jul 18, 2008
july without you
oh delight.
i wasn't sure when it would happen
or if it really would.
but last night,
william and i were driving home from grocery shopping.
not a great day for me.
period kicking my hormones into high panic gear and i felt like no one loved me.
i was practicing getting out of my head and into a clearer space
where i could see
that i was creating my own worries.
when i rolled down my window and let the beautiful summer night air in the car.
and i looked over at william,
said i felt needy.
needy for what, he asked.
for affection mostly, i said.
and then he smiled, touched my leg.
but beyond that...
i felt a stronger breeze come in the car,
a wind that sort of electrified my skin and made me feel all warm and fuzzy on my right arm.
my dad.
gave me my first hug since he died.
and it's the best hug i've had in the longest time.
Jul 15, 2008
Jul 8, 2008
it's not so hard...
we forget sometimes
or i do
that it's not supposed to be a battle
that it's supposed to be easy
even fun
and that i can share myself with you
lean on you even,
whenever i need to.
gentle reminders
and great bear hugs
help me to stop clawing
and scratching
and to rest my weight on you.
