New Journal...

I was feeling out of words. Full of feelings with no place to put them down. Doodling in my Real Estate book....Now I have a new home for my thoughts. A new journal always gives me hope. I feel like I have so many thoughts on my mind. Taking this class and interviewing for positions that I hope will bring in the money. Questioning why I live out in suburbia, where there is really no sense of community...Am I working to pay for a life I don't even want to be living? Are you supposed to do what you love and let the money follow? Or do you make the money first to then invest in what you love?

In college I changed my major 9 times...pre-law, sociology, anthropology, graphic design, fashion design, english, creative writing, interior design, finally graduating with a degree in business. Hoping that at least a BS would help me with whatever endeavors I finally decided to embark upon. Going back, I wish I had followed my heart, gotten an art degree and followed wherever the path lead me. Again, I am sitting in school, trying to make a point that I can in fact do the math, pass the class. But at the end of the day, I question what my life's work is? How will it all fit together? How will I be able to be the artist I am and still afford to live? Will I ever meet the man who wants to have the family I want? Am I trying too hard to live by some master plan created by me?

I feel in over my head.

So, I write. I draw. I make wish lists of all the places I would rather be, places I want to visit one day. And I study the class material hoping that when this all comes to an end I will have some clarity on the direction I am taking.