only for love

i feel like i got it.
i had moments, or several long hours of such a spiritual shift.
i could feel it vibrating throughout our home.

community.
love.
pure.
bright.
sparkling.
light.

we're doing it all for the love.
together.

in the arms of a fairy

a.piece.by.fran.welch.

do our bodies actually revolt against us when we continue to do things that we don't love?

is my tummy turning and my head splitting because i ignore the not so quiet voices that are pushing me in the direction of art and healing?

YES.

so last night i HAD to get some time in with this sweet soul. my fairy goddess love friend who i don't think will ever wrap her head around how much i admire her. how much i look at each piece of art she makes as the best thing EVER. and how without her in my life i fear i would walk the path of the unconscious and unaware. she is a blessing. and as i bit into the brownies bursting with nuts, coconut, and berries she baked especially for me, i felt lighter.

i felt safe.

(thank you love)

Dear Universe

a quote from my natal chart that i had done in spain by the most intuitive, amazing astrologist:

'it may take time for you to decide what goals to aim for and in which direction you want your life to go.'

she also says, 'having experienced your Saturn return this year, you will feel you have gone through a great deal of hardship which has matured you and made you realize that you, and only you, are responsible for your own happiness and success-however you define it. Therefore, you may only just be beginning to work out what you really want your life to mean and how to go about it.

the 6 days we've had this new year have had me waking up every morning wondering what it is that i am meant to do. what is my path? can i find my zen doing what i am doing in the meantime and pray that i am moving in the right direction?

i know there is no right and wrong. i know that my job does not define me. but at the same time, i see people who are in absolute LOVE with what they do, and i am SO ready to be in that same place.

i want to wake up bursting with energy, ready to live out each day with excitement and passion.

dear universe, please plant a seed in me.

please allow me to be open to all possibilities

please send me a dream

send me a message

show me the way

to doing what i love and giving it back in the form of service.

release the grief. embrace the play

Jan 1st, 2009.

i put my clothes on for the first time this morning and they hugged my curves. the lines didn't feel as sharp, my belly full from the first meal of the new year. my love had prepared an omelet that was pure perfection and delight to my body. i feel recommitted to eating healthy. nourishing my body.

my first step in self love.