being 30 and wearing my big girl panties

so the first picture was taken at the best.rainbow.birthday.gathering.

i'm officially out of my twenties and the big dirty thirty party proved to be everything i could have ever imagined.

i wish i could have just spent more time relishing in all the love. all the dancing. playing. and the feeling that i am exactly as i'm supposed to be.

but the real world beckons and...i've been having a super hard time putting my big girl panties on and getting over my ex-issues. you know everyone has those issues that when they are brought up, it feels as though our layer of skin isn't there. that we are just flesh and bone and it's being pushed. prodded. and not so tenderly. (i hope i'm not the only one :)

but stagnating and holding on to negative behaviors has never been my thing. i'm all about the growth. but i just want to say that being a loving, conscious adult isn't always so easy :)

so be kind to yourself if you are trying out new ways of being. new ways of experiencing love. and let yourself have a day or two to internalize the changes.

i know i am ;)