I am always wondering as I near 30 (I just turned 28), if I will slowly become more comfortable in my own skin. If I will be able to relax in who I am and how I look. Especially in front of the camera, yikes... I get so tense and afraid, and it comes across in the picture. A darling friend always tries to capture me in moments that don't seem forced or posed, but there is nothing like actually feeling that way to capture a true moment. I would love to book a session with one of my favorite photographers to see if she could capture some moments that feel like me.I feel like I force who I am so much. Part of it is not defining who I am before I mesh with another and part of it is my environment. Both of which I am learning I have the power to change. I have been thinking about scaling back, and focusing on what is really important in my heart. To do what makes my soul sing regardless of what others advise or think.
I have always been somone's girlfriend, then wife, then girlfriend again, for so long, that I don't know listen to what I want half of the time. Although, deep down I know I am part of something much greater. It's just on the surface, I am not comfortable in my skin. I would love to look as loving and comfortable as this adorable couple. Seeing their love really gives me hope for have a loving, nurturing, supportive relationship...But first, I think I have to learn to feel that way towards me.
2 comments:
hi ! i just wanted to say that i can relate so much to your post...i recently (at 41) broke up with someone i have loved for a long time and i have been thinking alot about how we as women define ourselves. it does require alot of thought, and effort, i suppose - but what do i really know? i'm a late bloomer, so...i'm just figuring myself out, and i don't think it happens all at once, i think it's a long term, evolving process. but something important to consider so that we are not 100% defined by someone else that we love, but our passions come shining through us, and make us more comfortable in our skin.... i think (i hope) the idea is to be loved by someone that loves all about who we are and totally supports our growth, changes and space to become who we are, not constantly trying to change you (which, sadly, is what I experienced...) ...wait, does that make any sense? sorry if im being confusing, but...it's a good topic, something important to ponder, and i wish you much luck in your pursuit of you!
best wishes, blessed be.
oh you can find me at www.stella-savannah.blogspot.com in case you're wondering who i am!
also for some prettiness you can go to www.pennyspictures.com
have a great day!
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