I wish that my fears would just be quiet. I wish all the days would feel like my post below, where the words fit together without trying, where my whole being feels brave and ready for change. But then there are days like this that sneak in and sabotage my positive outlook.
I have an awful sinus infection, where my head is throbbing and my lymph nodes make even swallowing tea difficult. I know that my body is shutting down for me, since I have been going nonstop these last 3 or 4 weeks. Taking road trips on the weekends, to have time away or just making lists of things that need to be taken care of for my move. It's just sometimes I come home to start packing and I feel physically and mentally blocked from making any productive moves. Then I start to question my decisions and think, oh, maybe if I stay, things will change and get better. The part that is the hardest to figure out is why I am doubting myself now and not knowing how much of the doubt is just fear of the unknown. Not that I should stay, but that leaving has it's own set of challenges and I should follow my heart, even if it's not the easiest path to take.
Anyway, even sick days like today that are filled with worries have their bright spot. I read this lovely blogger's post and my heart expanded reading her words, because it so wonderful to have other people that you connect with in this blogging community. <3>
I have an awful sinus infection, where my head is throbbing and my lymph nodes make even swallowing tea difficult. I know that my body is shutting down for me, since I have been going nonstop these last 3 or 4 weeks. Taking road trips on the weekends, to have time away or just making lists of things that need to be taken care of for my move. It's just sometimes I come home to start packing and I feel physically and mentally blocked from making any productive moves. Then I start to question my decisions and think, oh, maybe if I stay, things will change and get better. The part that is the hardest to figure out is why I am doubting myself now and not knowing how much of the doubt is just fear of the unknown. Not that I should stay, but that leaving has it's own set of challenges and I should follow my heart, even if it's not the easiest path to take.
Anyway, even sick days like today that are filled with worries have their bright spot. I read this lovely blogger's post and my heart expanded reading her words, because it so wonderful to have other people that you connect with in this blogging community. <3>
4 comments:
holy canoli....feel better soon!
take a few days to relax and heal.
i am thinkig of you
peace
i hope you feel better soon sweet girl!
this house is on coleman right???/ we have tried to buy it for years as the owner never comes to tend it. it's one of my wishes to rehab it!!! and of all houses u took that picture.!! funny
the boys and i and derrick enjoyed having dinner at zambras with you-fun!!
float -dream- rest-nurture-love yourself back to center.
its all gonna be ok.
IT IS.
you are sifting through the hardest part. in my experience, right before the change actually HAPPENS the fear tends to be the loudest. i think-well, maybe it was not THAT bad. maybe things will change, maybe i was being too picky, etc. this is the fear seeping in.
its not the truth.
i have a good feeling about your move. i do.
in the meantime do all the things you are already doing-reflecting, writing, nurturing...
you are doing GREAT. :) :) :)
i send you a thousand and three blessings,
xx
mccabe
ps do you have a netti pot? for the sinus infection? mine has worked wonders for me!!
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