a candle for you.

an alter space i created in our room last night

the meditation room at Meg's

when i was in spain one of the things that had me grinning every morning was after our meditation, we would open our eyes to see tiny rainbows all over the white walls. sparkling and shinning around the bright candles. beckoning me to believe in the power of beauty.

meg also put a lovely table covered with pretty fabric in my room to create an alter. i put pictures of my dad at different stages in his life, so i could hold those images close to my heart and really let them sink in. every night i would light the candles and incense on the alter and write a short entry in a journal to him. sometimes i would just spill my heart out. sometimes i would ask for a sign (which he kindly gave). it was so comforting not to hide how i was feeling about him, but instead embrace each emotion as it came up.

i've only been back home since sunday...and bringing back all the goodness i learned felt challenging at first as i easily settled into old patterns. on tuesday though, the universe gave me another little push. my hours at work have been cut back to 20 a week, with the economy as it is, there is just not enough to do in december. so... i was left with yesterday to contemplate how i am going to go about this. will i let fear in and start panicking? or can i feel the fear as i do any other emotion and then go on anyway?

yes i can. and i did.

i started the day by catching up with lovely friends. and i ended the day with cleaning our home, making room for new energy to come in. really feeling my hands do the work and enjoying the pleasure that each clean surface or piece of clothing brought me. being present.

at the end of the night i set up my own little alter space in our room. i painted a rock for a very special little baby and as i lit the candles i said a prayer for him, for his mother, and that he will find his way home so soon.

sweet william brought his own candle to the alter space and lit one too.

i woke up this morning to a warm, clean, cozy space and i felt rejuvenated.

that's a happy thing!