An Ache For My Own

The drawing above is an initial sketch for a friend's baby shower invitation. A doodle I did on the phone while talking with her about the theme and ideas for the shower. It's for one of my best and oldest friend's sister and I am more than happy to draw them. Excited even about the actual making of the cards and hoping she'll love them. It's just in the process, I am feeling the ache for the little one I lost. I think that with friend's babies who are already here, it's somehow easier for me. Maybe because being around the actual baby, my heart melts, and when I see a pregnant woman or think about a baby shower, my heart aches. I don't know why this is. I wish that I didn't feel jealous. I wish I didn't want what they have. I wish I didn't feel any of it so that I didn't feel guilty about making something so completely about them have anything to do with me.