Aug 6, 2007

To Practice Pleasing Me



I wish I was back on this perfect path with Fran....talking about how I seem like I am on this amazing path, that it's inspiring to be around me at such a time in my life.


Because, let me say that this week I did not feel inspiring.

I feel like I am doubting myself and my choices.


I feel better today than yesterday and am really just going to keep plugging away at being true to myself...it's just so hard sometimes.

I feel like I am trying so hard to please everyone.

Trying to make choices that will make so many different people happy that I forget I am the only one I have to please.

I have lost touch with posting on here, which I think grounds me in so many ways.

I have been not sleeping enough, eating enough nourishing food, reading, exercising or getting enough of nature.

Packing up the old house with our things in it, a house that we only just moved into in November is so hard. Going through and purging the old, making room for change and new choices...I know it's going to be good, I know it's what I need, but it does not make the process any easier.

I wish someone would come and bring me movies, give me bath and wrap me in clean hot towels. Hold me and let me sleep as long as I needed.

5 comments:

kat said...

practice pleasing me.
but not in a sexual way, amanda.

i might be the funniest person i know.
and you are the most compassionate.

also, p.s., no more regressing.

Scarlett said...

making those changes and moving on even though may be the best thing later, is the hardest thing to do "now"....i hear ya and i can feel for where you are at right now. i know this place...just keep on going, keep looking forward...because that is where you are going...just keep looking forward, you will be just fine!! it's normal how you're feeling! hang in there!!! your homies all got your back!

HUGS!

Cayden said...

I see open days full of nature walks and sweet, peaceful sleep filled with calming dreams ahead for you. You have learned so much of yourself and I know your journey to this point will give you the guidance and strength to fulfill your dreams and play, laugh and love more and more each day.


p.s. K has obviously never met me:)
or Cole for that matter!

Anonymous said...

i just love those photos of you. what a peaceful place that was, to just sit and talk.

Anonymous said...

"I feel better today than yesterday"

that's just how i feel today...and hoping i feel even better tomorrow. take care of yourself!
xo