Releasing the Pain

my spine and all its unnatural curves have never been something i really focused on. when i was little, my doctor would tell my mom i needed to dance or swim. doing exercises to strengthen my core muscles and elongate my spine. so i danced. because i loved it. not really understanding the benefits that it brought into my life.

until i stopped. and the pain intensified.

it wasn't until after college that i even saw my first chiropractor. growing up always going to traditional medicine doctors, i never even considered acupuncture or energy healers as an option. i would, once in a while, book an appointment at a spa, always leaving relaxed, but disappointed in how my body felt afterwards. i even got to the point where i had injections of steroids into my spine in order to ease the pain, following up with pain pills afterwards that always left me feeling depressed and lethargic. hiding the root of the problem and masking the pain for awhile, only to have it come back stronger in a few months. i would get so upset with my back. i still sometimes fall into that pattern. truly mad at the level of pain i experience and how it affects the day to day life. how hard it is to smile and be happy, when i really want to, but i can't seem to smile through the pain.

Since coming here and working with an amazing massage therapist (*who happens to be the kindest man that i am in love with*), i have been introduced to so many new techniques to manage my pain. it's a been such a change for me to go deep inside for my healing.

he works with me to not only manage it, but to heal it. one day at the store i was so tight and just feeling like all i wanted was to be taking a pain pill and laying down in bed. that's when he says to me that i held the power to heal my back. to be honest, at first i was nothing but irritated. he's a healer. a neuromuscular and deep tissue massage therapist. and he's telling me that i can do my own healing???

it's not until i am lying down and he begins his work on my back, that i get this sense of the energy in my back actually having a life of its own. i can feel it moving and i can understand that if i don't take an active part in loving my back, sending it good, positive healing thoughts, stretching every morning, mediating, then i will not heal. i actually experience visions while he is working on me. i go back to the times in my life, when my heart was so heavy and my mind so thick with frustrations and i release. i have visions of a tree above my spine, its roots all tangled and digging into my back. the roots are thick and tight. as i breathe out i can picture them releasing some, loosing their grip, relaxing into my back and being healthy. it is so empowering to me that i really do have the tools within my energy body and my physical body to heal.