The Moments All Led to This One

These will be my new streets.

My new city. Asheville.

I feel so lucky and happy and full.

It's not that I don't have fears associated with the move, but I am sitting with them and accepting them as part of the change.

I will be living in my very own apartment.

The first time ever in my life that I have moved out of Atlanta and will be living alone.

I wonder where the money might come from (jobs there don't pay so great!).

I worry how I will meet girlfriends that I connect with.

But at this very same moment I love the air there.

The energy that seeps out of the town and into me.

I love the art and the sense of community that had me feeling so warm and welcome from the first visit.

So many possibilities lie ahead of me.

So much love is inside of me.

And I know that in giving up exact control as to how all my dreams will unfold, I have opened up doors.

I might fall, I will for sure stumble, but I feel it in my heart..this is right.

This is just the beginning.

Releasing the Toxins

my mind feels tired

my face feels dry

but oily

my skin doesn't seem healthy

and my body needs some

serious LoVe

from me

so i made a promise to go to bed early last night

wake up and start at least a 2 day juice fast to get my body and mind right to begin eating raw.

i started this morning with this organic yummy tea full of antioxidants.

this means i am making a commitment to rid my body of toxins, eat more healthfully, stop the closet smoking, get enough sleep...

i feel like i am releasing parts of me that no longer serve a purpose.

giving up the struggle and making sure i am living authentically. that how i feel on the inside matches what i do on the outside.

Tomorrow Never Comes

a heart in the street....

"Ambition is a consolation. Today it is all misery, tomorrow there will be joy. Looking at tomorrow you become capable of tolerating today and its misery: today is always hell, tomorrow is heaven. You keep on looking at heaven, you keep on hoping. But that hope is not going to be fulfilled ever because tomorrow never comes." Osho


I think we all fall prey to feeling like we'll start seeing this differently as soon as this or that happens. Once we get the job, build the house, finish the project we'll start smiling. We'll start living. And in the meantime all the moments, all the love that is out there is just passing us by.

I really feel this huge change in my life. In my heart. That I am not letting anything pass me by. That I am living more authentically. What's inside my soul is visible on the outside, shining through and has attracted like minded people.

And they are making me smile.

To Truly Live

The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.” --Henry Miller

If that is the goal, if that is what I am striving for, then lately I have been experiencing truly living. Living more fully. Simply showing up for all the moments. Without rushing through it all.

Taking time this weekend to go to Asheville (the city that for sure holds my heart now) and go see this DJ. Dancing without any inhibitions.

Saturday spending half the day in the park laying in the sun. Legs tangled. Making lists of things to do, drawing pictures, talking...

Going to bed early to wake up refreshed and eating outside at my favorite breakfast place there. Eating yummy huevos rancheros and a short stack of blueberry pancakes...Delightful.

Next to see StarDust with Claire Danes. A super imaginative love story with unicorns and falling stars...Doesn't get much better than that.

I left filled up and have not come down from the high I am on.

Emerging Stronger

Am I safer in the role of the little girl who can't do it herself?
Is it easier for me to just play up my silly side?
Why don't I feel like I will be as liked or accepted if I am shining too much?
And isn't it really about being our best self, not worrying about comparisons?


I know that part of this change that I am going through is about learning to do things on my own.
Things that seem simple to most people I am sure.
I am learning that portraying my strong side is not such a turn off.
Sometimes I just feel like this walking contradiction.
A girl, who wants to do so much..
but who is so scared to venture out of her comfort zone.
A girl, with such strong opinions...
but who is easily influenced by how other's feel.

A girl who wants to blog about these amazing feats she is accomplishing.
Goals that are being met.
Collages and cards that are getting finishing touches put on them.
Books that are being read.
Tickets to Italy being purchased.
Raw food diets beginning.

And I will, it's just in this time I feel like a girl who is preparing herself from the inside out to be ready to face all the changes coming my way...