Settling In

An Herbal Tea Box to hold the tea blends I am selling in the office.




Pretty little plants...

Watching the world from the perspective of a snail. I actually thought these shells were empty so I collected them all and put them near our front door. A few minutes later they had all come out to see what was going on. I happily moved them back to their home (after a short photo shoot).

The darkest days seem to have passed with the Solstice Eclipse and we seemed to have really found a safe and happy spot here. This Winter is going to be full of reading, researching, planning the garden, ordering herbs and seeds, bunking down and saving money, celebrating life and hopefully bringing a new one into our family :)

Happy New Year and Many Blessings to everyone.

Women Rise Up

ecstatic surrender through art



lake eden in all her glory

Women gather. Magic Happens When We Do. When we share our deepest pain with one another. When we celebrate our dreams and goals. When we remember that we do not have to be the marketers of our own work, OUR SISTERS CAN DO THIS FOR US.

Women know. This goddess of empowerment, Alisa Starkweather, said something that I have never known before. There are more neurons firing in our bellies than in our brains. So when we feel sick to our stomachs it is not a lie. Our bodies do not lie to us. They tell us when we are in danger, when we are in situations that are not the best for us. When we remember to trust our gut we are honoring our bellies.

Women rise up. Alisa is a part of a Red Tent Movement and she is doing a conference call in October!!! Can you imagine? A place to gather together, to bleed together, to share our stories, our food, and our hearts?!

There is so much more to share from this weekend. 1000 women from all walks of life coming together to join in their connection to the plants, to our roots, and to our mother earth, leaves me filled up in every which way.

we are solitary

we are solitary. we may delude ourselves and act as though it were not so. but how much better it is to realize that we are so, yes, even to begin by assuming it. naturally, we will turn giddy.
rainer maria rilke, letters to a young poet



sleeping bear


sleeping lelu


such a tender time. so much to write about.
this fall is bringing so many lessons already.
with our growth must come release.
a letting go of something that no longer serves us at this time.
time to let what did not get accomplished this year fade into our memory, another cycle will be on it's way soon.

for us, this means a move. not a move in our town. our beloved Asheville. we met and fell in love here.
were married here. lived the last 3 years in a pretty blissful state of being.

we are headed to William's home. Arkansas. it's strange to think of myself farther from my Mom. farther from my girlfriends. it will be no longer a drive away, we'll have to fly. we'll have to be patient and plan wonderful visits when we can.

there have been signs. and we've been listening. we've been stating our intentions and now we've been called to live them.
it feels like we are at the top of a roller coaster.

it's a choice. like any other. but this time we are not choosing in our comfort zone. we are not pushing to get exactly what we think is best for us. we are in the flow and the universe is holding us up. my Mom's blessing for me solidified this change.

it's the five year plan. to make a baby. to have that baby be blessed to be brought up on land that is unspoiled and cared for. for a community of family members that is so large and full of love. to open our practice there. to expand what is currently just William's massage to include my botanical goodness. to stretch and fill up all the uncomfortable and unknown spaces. to grow into something that we've dreamed of.

the kicker is..i'm not finished with my herbal program here at ASHH. November 11th I graduate. 7 weeks. we will be driving our belongings to Arkansas this upcoming week, only I won't be staying. not just yet...

my intentions here in Asheville are to finish my schooling. i will be staying in a room at the school (a converted old house), studying for my final and finishing up a lovely pressed flower book project. i will be fully immersed in herbs. i will be alone. i will be scared. i write my fears here to address them. and over the period of the next 7 weeks i will take care to record the goings of myself here in Asheville. finishing up a chapter in my life while my husband and forever furry friend (lelu, our dog) are starting the new chapter. i will write. relax. work hard. dream. journal. be quiet. i will just be. i will be kind to myself. kind to my partner. and kind to all of you. change is scary.

(just sharing those fears i can feel a deeper breath coming)

Wild Women Rule

Today I give thanks. Thanks that I am able to get up and do my morning pages. Putting my pen to the paper feels like home.

Today I ponder being wild. Is it too wild to think that we can trust in the universe to carry us? Is it too wild to be without a home for a few months while we travel and visit and re-situate ourselves? When we let ourselves feel how much we crave a certain experience....and then we don't take the opportunity, aren't we then not being wild enough?

Life is change. Change is Wild. And I'm going to trust in the organic connection between what I want on the inside and what is wanted from me on a higher level. That when I leap into what I want for myself and those I love, that ultimately I am doing good for our planet.

Breaking through...to a whole new world

restored.recharged.and oh so thankful.

a sunday drive

picking berries on the blueridge parkway

sacred native land

showers

followed by rainbow delights

homemade whipped cream to top the berries with

cuddling and movies

makes for a perfect sunday :)

Free from space and time

the view from our porch

meditating at transformus

Transformus is our regional burn here outside of Asheville, NC. It was a life-changing experience, full of glorious displays of self-expression. Without vendors or corporate sponsors, people's heart chakras were fully open, ready to give and receive. Sharing, communing, enjoying the beauty of Deerfields we danced the days away and really soaked up some amazing energy.

Upon our return we got word from William's Dad that his grandfather has fallen ill. Cancer it seems will take his life in a few months. We were so blessed to have his 85 year old grandfather and his girlfriend make the journey from Arkansas to Asheville (a road trip!!) to visit with us just last month. We realized then as never before what kindred spirits we are. He's a soul man. A man who knows the value of love and I feel so very honored to have him in my life. We are going to be going to William's home to soak up some more love soon, but until then I wanted to leave you with the email his grandfather sent. I think it is truly beautiful the way he has honored his life and is planning his departure much in that same way.

Please spread the word, Joe Hall, the old doctor, is going on a long trip.

I have been planning this trip for a long time--soon to be 85 years. I still don't know my date of departure; however, I think it playfully remains one of the surprises of the venture. I expect the trip to happen a few weeks to a few months from now.

You, my e-mail buddies, have been a major fun-filled source of Wisdom, Beauty, Peace and Joy for many years. Please continue to write me… I love it and I need it.

I am planning and building a beautiful death which will get rid of the worn out old body. Pain, dysfunction, fatigue and disease will no longer be present. Death is the final healing of all disease.

No longer will I be confined by time or space. Instant travel will be available 24/7. Although I cannot get my mind around this, I am told I will be able to be in all places at all times sharing perfect love with every one and every thing.

I have recently been told by several very competent and concerned doctors that I have cancer of the colon with wide spread metastases which can not be cured.

Please pray that I may feel and share the spirit of perfect love as God wishes me to.

Until we meet again Peace and Joy Joe B Hall the old doctor

I am enough

"This summer we're setting up a very specific test in the Dream Lab. We're trying to find out what will happen if we set aside our Mondo Beyondo dreams for one whole summer and let ourselves sink into rest, play and kindness to ourselves and the people around us. And we're not just saying that. We really want to know want to know. We're craving the kind of joy and magic that shows up whenever you know--you really know--you're not in it alone. We're building our hypothesis on the expectation that all kinds of good things happen when you're willing to loosen up and let go."

From the Superhero Journal

I have been in a place of uncertainty where I find myself wondering, do I really live in a dream world? I always heard that growing up, from my parents, quite possibly even from strangers...You live in a dream world Amanda.

What I'm really being faced with now, at age 31, is am I here to do what creative endeavors are inside me? I am allowed to put myself fully into what I want to do each day with joy? Am I here to find my true purpose, my higher path or should I just go out to the nearest restaurant to get a job that will pay the bills?

My tiny Etsy shop lies empty because the last time I truly allowed myself to create uninterrupted was in Italy. When I'm at home I don't even take the stolen moments, much less make a schedule that includes time for making art.

Now, keep in mind, our massage business and my free lance nanny/event work do pay the bills. We are able to keep up, potentially some would consider us to be maintaining quite nicely. So, why is it that my fear builds up inside so great, doubt crawls inside and I feel paralyzed?

But let me remember... I am not my thoughts. I am not my body. I am not my emotions. I am an ever present being of light here to shine my spirit bright. That light can truly shine when I'm rested. When I'm filled up with dancing and stretching and being me. When I'm writing and creating art (and it's been months....).

I honestly will feel guilty if I am at home brewing up herbal delights in the kitchen or doing other projects because they are not paying me an hourly wage. Does it all have to add up to money? I feel like all my quests to just make money so I could do this or that never created any happiness, or money for that matter.

So, each day I wake up and some of those days I have to choke down a little fear, or better yet, replace that reaction with a positive thought. Send love to those fears and believe that I am enough. Doing what's in front of me at the moment, loving it and loving myself.

What I've been Loving...

free

A Sunday spent deep in the woods. Herb loving women coming together, learning. The Mountain Gardens took us in and showed us a ecologically sound way of living. Being Free. A paradisiacal delight. A Taoist since he was sixteen years old, Joe, has created a way out of the destructive machine of consumerism that we find ourselves living in. A place to live, to read, to gather, to grow, and to help yourself. He opens his apothecary to those who are willing to mix their own formulas out of the thousands of Chinese and American herbs he carries. The library is unbelievably full, books on religion, spiritual guidance, arts & crafts, herbs, gardening....(the list goes on) line the shelves. Cob houses and yurts are scattered throughout the woods, among the 1500 or so species of medicinal plants grown there. This way of life, maintaining the garden so that it can in turn take care of you, waking up and asking yourself 'what do I want to do today?', this is the way of the happy. The way of the free.

To Begin Anew

To cleanse for me is to begin anew. I am the type of person that gets excited with the challenge of cleansing my body of toxins. The particular cleanse that we just finished was the Polarity Cleansing Diet. The book calls it a fast for the ego and a feast for the spirit!

This particular cleanse is one where you continue to eat vegetables throughout the minimum of two weeks. It is truly something you can do while working, although there is a sluggishness in the first few days as your body is pushing out all the toxins. Day 4 and 5 were the hardest, and I stayed on this for the minimum required, 14 days.

Here is recipe for the tea and liver cleanse that you drink first thing in the morning. Preparing the tea and blending the other ingredients gives you the time while peeling, and prepping, and peeling and prepping....to appreciate what you are putting into your body. I especially like to take this time to say a prayer of gratitude for our bodies do.


Polarity Liverflush Cocktail
Take 4 to 8 ounces as your morning meal
More is not better!
In a blender add:
1 to 2 tablespoons of cold pressed olive or almond oil
the juice of one peeled organic lemon
1 or 2 small to medium size cloves of garlic
an equal amount of fresh ginger (a piece about 1 inch long)
the juice of one organic grapefruit

Polarity Cleansing Tea
To boiling water add this blend
which contains equal amounts of:
ginger root,
anise or fennel seed
flax seed
fenugreek seed
twice as much licorice root,

After simmering the above for 20 minutes take it off of the stove and add peppermint. Serve with lemon and fresh ginger juice to taste. Start the tea first and let it brew while you are getting the liver-flush together.

Etsy My Dear....

Finally....I stopped procrastinating. I stopped judging my work and thinking that I had nothing to share. I took a leap of faith and posted some of my card designs and have them UP FOR SALE at my new etsy shop, Sweet Cheeks.

I hope to bring a little extra joy and happiness to your life. To inspire you to dance in the woods, pour glitter in the wind, delight in all the beauty, and to just be love.

an owl's wisdom

My Daddy's initials were O.W.L. Oliver Wayne Lammon. Today marks one year and eight months since he killed himself. He and I were oh so close, the best of friends. One of the hardest parts that I continue to struggle with every day is not being able to pick up the phone and ask his advice. So, lately I've been asking the universe, asking my Dad to please show me a sign. Let me know he's still with me in spirit. And, I've been overwhelmed with all of the Owl images everywhere. On binders, in clay, in my horoscope above and in Pixie's Owl Card.

As I light my candles and remember a life with my Dad, I pray for the wisdom to learn all my lessons and the patience to listen to my instincts as they guide me to find how his death fits into my life's purpose.

crossroads

of course....we would have this huge wonderfully life changing event, our marriage, and now be faced with BIG life decisions.

it would be oh so nice to connect with other readers who are in my same boat.

graduate school? is it fair for me to move my new husband and myself to a not nearly as wonderful town just so i can learn something that makes me move?
something that speaks to my soul?

after all the tough work on our business plan for the boutique, the economy and the universe have told us that the money is just not here right now. not that it won't ever come into fruition, but that right now...it's not the time.

and the voices inside me keep saying...now is the time for me to learn to do something well. to really embrace the artist inside me.

'the one who attempts to be an artist and has not learned the craft is never going to be an artist. if you find you are trying, go back to school. you're not ready yet' joseph cambell

blissed out.

married.

reborn.

!!!

magic!

fairy ring of love

what i've been working on....

i can't ask for anything more...

how the weekend went....

kissing lovely lips.

new guinea friends.

messages from the universe.

wandering through fields.

being thankful for friends.

seeing rainbows!!!
(not just one, but TWO different days, both double rainbows)

being 30 and wearing my big girl panties

so the first picture was taken at the best.rainbow.birthday.gathering.

i'm officially out of my twenties and the big dirty thirty party proved to be everything i could have ever imagined.

i wish i could have just spent more time relishing in all the love. all the dancing. playing. and the feeling that i am exactly as i'm supposed to be.

but the real world beckons and...i've been having a super hard time putting my big girl panties on and getting over my ex-issues. you know everyone has those issues that when they are brought up, it feels as though our layer of skin isn't there. that we are just flesh and bone and it's being pushed. prodded. and not so tenderly. (i hope i'm not the only one :)

but stagnating and holding on to negative behaviors has never been my thing. i'm all about the growth. but i just want to say that being a loving, conscious adult isn't always so easy :)

so be kind to yourself if you are trying out new ways of being. new ways of experiencing love. and let yourself have a day or two to internalize the changes.

i know i am ;)

you become less so you can become more. eckhardt tolle

we lose things. objects. people pass, leaving us to dwell in the darker parts of ourselves, so that we can emerge, brighter.